Winding Road of Life
by xgemgemzx
Summary: Beckett's been hiding someone from Castle for the past two months. Now Castle get to see a different side to Beckett. Set during season 1 and has spoilers from some episodes.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey **

**a/n- i know that i'm going back to season 1 when the show is on season 5, it's just i've had this story in my head for a while now and i'm finally getting the change to write it so i hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Chapter 1

The boys where huddled around Ryan's computer watching a video clip Castle had been dying to show them. The elevator doors opened, a tall shorted hair handsome man walked out. He held the hand of a little girl. She bounced happily to see how was in the bullpen. The man picked her up so she could see more clearly how was in the bullpen.

"Uncle Javi, Uncle Kevin." She shouted. The man placed her back on the floor and she ran around to them. Esposito picked her up and held her on his hip. She gave him and Ryan a high five.

"Did you have a good time with your dad?" Ryan asked. She nodded excitedly and began to tell them everything her and her father had done.

Beckett was descending the stairs when she noticed the man standing at the edge at the bullpen. "Lucas?!" She was pretty sure that it was him even from behind. She was expecting to see him that day but not until later that night.

The man turned around and smiled at her. He was about to say something but was cut off by the little girl screaming, "Mommy!"

Searching around for the voice, she saw the little girl running towards her. Beckett knelt down and the girl ran into her open arms. The two of them hugged each other tightly. A couple of tears trickled down her cheek. She had seen her little girl in three month and had missed her dearly. The girl looked up her mother and placed her little hand on her mother's cheek when she noticed Beckett was crying.

"Why crying mommy?" She whispered softly.

"I've missed you so much, Princess." Beckett answered. Lucas came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Princess, why don't you ask Uncle Kevin and Javi nicely if you can play a game on the computer whilst I talk to daddy?" The girl nodded then turned and skipped back over to the boys.

The boys agreed to watch the girl. Lucas dropped a bright pink and purple duffle bag at the side of Beckett's desk and he followed her to the break room. Kate closed her door behind her and looked at him for a couple of moments before gesturing for him to take a seat at the table. They sat at opposite ends of the table just looking at each other in silence. Kate wanted to ask him the question she had been asking him more and more frequently over the past two week but now she didn't want to answer the question.

"17 months." Lucas said breaking the silence.

"Have you told her?" Kate asked.

"Yes but I don't think she really understood." Lucas got up and walked over to her and crouched down at the side of her. Kate didn't look at him just stared at her hands. "This is my last tour, Katie. Remember what you said before? You said would give me another chance once I had left the corps. I understand completely if you've changed your mind. But Katie, in 17 months, a year and 5 months, 75 weeks, 518 days" He placed his hand under her chin and turned her head to face him. Whipping away the stray tears he whispered, "Me, you and Jamie-Leigh can be a family."

"And like I told you, if I'm with someone when you left the corps you and I only stay friends. However, if I'm still single then the three of us can be a family." Kate smile leaning in, she kissed him softly. "Now let's go make sure Esposito and Ryan hasn't stolen our daughter."

***Castle***

Jamie-Leigh watched as her parents walked into the break room.

"Who's he?" Jamie-Leigh said turning her attention to Castle as she sat on Esposito's lap.

"Jamie, this is Richard Castle. He's been working with your mom for the past couple of months." Ryan explained.

Castle extended his hand to the little girl. As he looked at her, he saw how much she looked like her mother. Jamie smiled at him as she reached out her hand and shock his hand. "My name is Jamie-Leigh Roe Beckett.

"It's very nice to meet you. How old are you?" Castle continued to smile at her.

"Four." Jamie held up five fingers instead of four. Esposito reached over and placed her thumb down so she now only held up four fingers. Jamie giggled at her mistake.

"I'm surprised you two haven't run off with her by now or called Lanie." Kate said as she walked back into the bullpen.

"Can we go see, Auntie Lanie?" Jamie asked and slipped off Esposito's lap and went over to her mother how was sitting at her desk.

"Soon, I promise." Kate ran her hand through Jamie's curls.

"Well I'd best be off." Lucas announced picking up Jamie. "Now be good for mommy whilst I'm away, okay?" Jamie nodded. "I love you and I'm going to miss you." He gave her a kiss and hugged her tightly.

"I love you to daddy." Jamie gave him a huge smile.

Kate stood up and took Jamie and held her on her hip. Lucas kissed Kate on the top of her forehead. "17 months." He whispered.

"Be safe." Kate whispered back to him.

They all watched as Lucas walked over to the elevator and stepping in when the doors opened. Jamie waved goodbye to her father. As he waved back to his little girl he mouth 'I love you' to Kate, who nodded holding back the tears. When the doors to the elevator closed, Kate gave Jamie a kiss on her temple.

"Right, since I don't have a case. How about we go see Auntie Lanie then go home and spend some time together. Since, I have missed you so much." Kate said to Jamie, nodded happily.

Kate placed Jamie back on the floor. The girl quickly made her way over to the elevator and pressed the down button. Kate wasn't in any rush to catch up with Jamie as it wouldn't have been the first time Jamie had gone down to see the ME by herself.

"Castle, can I have a word." Kate said it wasn't a question more of a demand.

"What's up?" Castle said as he reached her desk.

"Jamie-Leigh doesn't get put in your book or I will hurt you. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal and I wasn't planning to since you have kept her a secret for the past two months. However I do have one question."

"Sure." Kate felt it easier to breath knowing Castle wasn't going to put her daughter in his book.

"Jamie says she's four but you could easily mistake her for a three maybe two year old."

"Castle, that wasn't a question so if your question is 'why she is so small since Lucas and I are both tall?' It's because she was born 15 weeks early." Kate informed him.

"That's really early. She must have been a fighter, just like her mom." Kate couldn't help but smile at his comment.

"Yeah she is. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, Detective." Kate picked up her and Jamie's bag before making her way down to see Lanie.

***Castle***

Later that night, Kate watched Jamie sleep. She had missed her little girl so much. As she watch the little one sleep she couldn't help but think about what Castle had said about Jamie being a fighter. That made Kate think about the day Jamie was born.

_Flashback_

Kate was driving home from what seemed like an extremely all day at the precinct. She was 25 week pregnant and had been on desk duty for the past 5 weeks. As much as she hated desk duty, she loved her unborn child more than anything in the world and wasn't going to let anything or anyone harm her child. All she wanted to do was go home and have a nice warm bath and a tub of cookie dough ice-cream. As she turned into her street, she saw two blinding white lights in front of her then everything went black.

When she woke up she was lying on her back and she was strapped down. She felt a painful twinge in her stomach. Her hand automatically went straight to her baby bump.

"Miss, can you let me your name?" A woman said next to her.

"Kate. What happened?" Kate asked.

"You we're in an accident, a car hit your car straight on. Can you tell me how far along you are?"

"25 weeks. Is my baby going to be okay?" Kate felt another painful twinge.

"I don't know. Kate, can you tell me if you're in any pain."

"Yes, in my back and my abdomen." Kate started to cry realising she could be in labour.

"Okay. Kate, I want you to try and stay calm and try to relax. Okay?"

"I'll try." Kate did try but the pain was becoming more intense and the twinges were getting closer together.

As the ambulance pulled in front of the hospital, Kate started to feel the urge to push but know she couldn't. Her baby was too early. Kate was rushed into the hospital and taken into an exam room. The doctor checked how far dilated Kate was. She was fully dilated and her baby was beginning to crown. Kate repeated kept telling the doctor that it was too early for her baby to be born. After great persuasion to get her to push, Kate did finial push and her baby girl was born. It took the doctor a couple of minutes to get the baby to start breathing, during that time Kate felt like she couldn't breathe. When room filled with the small cries from the baby, Kate burst into tears. Kate caught a glimpse of her little girl as they took her to the NICU. She could believe how small her baby really was. Her baby. Kate loved the sound of that. Kate held to the ring that hung on a chain around her neck and knew her mother was watching over her and her baby.

_End flashback_

Kate lent down and softly kissed Jamie on the top of her head. Closing the bedroom door behind her, she moved through to the living room. Relaxing on the sofa, Kate sat looking at the framed picture that sat on her coffee table. It was a picture of her, Jamie and Lucas. Kate thought that it was more possible that in 17 months that the three of them could finally be a proper family.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey **

**I hope everyone liked the first chapter :D and heres another.**

**Enjoy **

**xx**

* * *

Chapter 2

Kate had been called to a crime scene where a body was found at a construction site at 5am. Jamie attended nursery two and a half days a week and today wasn't one of these days. When this happened Kate would get Jamie ready without waking her. Jamie-Leigh was not a morning person. After getting dressed herself, she went through to Jamie's room and got her ready. Once Kate had packed a bag for Jamie and gotten her bag, she carefully picked up Jamie and left for the crime scene.

As Kate buckled Jamie into her car seat, Jamie woke up slightly.

"Where we go?" Jamie mumbled.

"I've got to go a crime scene. You don't have nursery today so you can choose between staying with me or go to grandpa's office." Kate placed a blanket over Jamie.

"You." Jamie yawned before falling back to sleep.

As the detective arrived at the crime scene, she looked in the rear view mirror to see if Jamie was asleep or not. Jamie was still fast asleep which didn't surprise Beckett. Cracking the window open a bit for Jamie she got out of the car.

***Castle***

By the time Beckett along with Castle had gotten back to her car, Jamie was awake. She was sitting quietly drawing on her Tomy Megasketcher.

"Morning baby." Kate greeted Jamie when she got back in the car.

"Morning mommy." Jamie blew Kate a kiss causing Kate to smile. "Morning Castle."

"Good morning Jamie. What you drawing?" Castle said

Jamie showed Castle what she was drawing, "It a ish." Jamie smiled at her masterpiece.

"Fish, baby." Jamie tried to say property but she only kept saying 'ish'.

"Uncle Javi!" Jamie shouted when she saw him walking to his car which was parked in front of Beckett's.

Esposito walked passed his car and lent in Jamie's window. "Morning monkey. What are you doing up at 6 o'clock." He ruffled her hair.

"A horn go off and it wake me up." Jamie pouted. "I'm hungry." She stated.

"Well if mommy says it okay. Why did you, Ryan and I go for breakfast?" Jamie nodded with such excitement.

Esposito looked over at Kate. He could tell what she was thinking but she nodded anyway. Esposito open the car door and help Jamie out of her car seat. He passed Jamie her car seat and she walked over to Ryan who was waiting by their car. Kate bit her lip as she watched Jamie got into their car before turning back to Esposito.

"Don't worry Beckett, she'll be fine. I promise." Esposito went to walk to his car but Beckett stopped him.

"Espo! You might want to take her bag!" Esposito turn back and lent through the window and picked up the bag.

"What was that about?" Castle asked.

"Something I wish I could forget." Beckett started the car and drove back to the precinct.

***Castle***

As Esposito drove to Remy's, Jamie sang alone to the radio from the back seat of the car. Esposito and Ryan had huge smiles in their faces from listening Jamie trying to sing along to the radio. The boys liked it when Beckett would bring Jamie to the precinct especially when they had a really bad case. Jamie always made them smile and reminded them that evil doesn't exist everywhere. In Remy's Jamie sat beside Esposito whilst Ryan sat opposite them. Everyone knew that Esposito was Jamie's favourite uncle and that she had him wrapped around her little finger. Actually she had everyone wrapped around her little finger.

"Can we have games night, tonight?" Jamie asked once they had ordered breakfast.

"Sure, we'll ask you mom when we get back if it's ok." Ryan replied.

Games night was when the three of them would go to Esposito's place and play on his wii or xbox. Sometimes Beckett and Lanie would join that but normal they would either go out or stay in and gossip.

"Do you think we should ask Castle to join us?" Ryan asked tucking in to his breakfast.

"Yeah, what you think Jamie?" Esposito said.

"Is he fun?" Jamie hadn't completely warmed up to Castle yet.

"Yeah. He can be really silly sometimes." Esposito tickled Jamie.

"Ok." She giggled out.

Once they had finish breakfast they headed back to the precinct. Esposito gave Jamie a piggy back ride up to their floor whilst it was Ryan's job to carry Jamie's bright pink bag. Esposito hold Ryan that the pink suited him and that Jamie might let him borrow her bag sometime. Ryan tried to think of a comeback but could think of one.

"Beckett!" Esposito called when they entered the bullpen. "Jamie asked if we could have a games night, this evening."

Beckett looked at Jamie, "Pees! Pees! Pees!" Jamie repeated.

"Okay but if anything happens I swear I will hurt the both of you." Beckett warned the boys.

"You in, Castle?" Esposito said putting Jamie down.

"Sure. Am I getting to know what happened before or shall I listen to the theories I've came up with."

"I go to hopatil because it shocked me and I hurt my head." Jamie told him.

"Jamie has an irregular heartbeat. She hasbradycardia which means her heart beats slowly. If her heartbeat beat increase to much her heart can't take it so she goes into cardiac arrest because of that she had a defibrillator in her chest." Beckett explained to Castle.

"Last games night we had, we gave Jamie too much sugar." Ryan continued on for Beckett, "She got really hyper and was running around like crazy. When her defibrillator shocked her, she fell over and hit her head off the corner of the coffee table and cut it open." Jamie pointed to the scare on her hairline.

"But we have learnt our lesson." Esposito commented.

***Castle***

Esposito, Ryan, Castle and Jamie all sat in Esposito's living room. They had ordered in pizza for dinner and got down to playing games in the wii. Castle and Ryan shared the sofa whilst Esposito and Jamie sat on the floor. They were currently playing Mario carts. They had already played the bowling and golf on wii sports. It was hard to tell who the best was since they were all as good as each other. However Jamie was the best at Mario carts.

After Jamie won yet again another round she tuned to Esposito, "Can we play in teams, pees?"

"Why not. Who do you want on your team?"

"Me and Castle against you and Uncle Kevin."

"Umm….Espo." Ryan showed him the clock in his phone which said 9:30. Which was way passed Jamie's bedtime since she had nursery in the morning.

"Sorry Princess but it's your bed time. We can play on team next it." Esposito told her.

"But, but, but." She kept repeating as Esposito picked her up.

"Night Jamie." Castle and Ryan said in unison as Esposito carried her to his room.

Esposito always placed her in the middle of the bed so it would be less likely for her to fall out of his bed. Jamie closed her eyes as he pulled the duvet over her chest. Giving her a kiss on her forehead Esposito left the room quietly closing the door behind him.

"She's a good kid." Castle commented when Esposito re-entered the room.

The boys nodded, "She's a lot like Beckett." Ryan said.

"I've noticed." Castle replied.

"Now let's play a proper game. Call of Duty, winner stays on."

"You're on." Castle rubbed his hands together.

"I'm in." Ryan said.

In the morning Ryan was first to wake up. He could hear noises coming from the kitchen. Standing up, he stretched his body out his muscles where all stuff from sleeping in an uncomfortable position on Esposito's sofa. He notices Castle was asleep on the floor and Esposito was asleep in the arm chair. It took him a couple of seconds to work out who was making the noise in the kitchen. Jamie was sitting on the counter top eat a slice toast and jam when Ryan went into the kitchen.

"Morning Uncle Kevin. I got up all by myself and I made my breakfast." She smiled happily at what she had done all by herself.

"Well done, Jamie." Ryan ruffled her hair, "Now how should we wake Uncle Javi up?" They both had mischievous grins on their faces.

***Castle***

Castle sat in the chair beside Beckett's desk. He had just listen to Beckett explain to him that it wasn't her father who had be killed but her mother.

"If you're father…." Castle stared but Beckett cut him off.

"Yes, he stopped drinking when I told him I was pregnant with Jamie-Leigh." Beckett gave him a weak smile.

As if they knew people were talking about them, Jamie and Kate's father –Jim came out of the elevator.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy." Jamie sang as she skipped towards her mother.

"What are you doing here?" Beckett placed Jamie on her lap

"Look," She opened the notebook that was in her hand, "No shock this week, I get ice-cream." Beckett smiled at her. "Oh, I draw pictures." Jim gave her the pieces of paper she was holding. She had painted a rainbow for Beckett, a portrait of Espo and Ryan, a fish for the captain and a flower for Castle.

"Thank you, why don't you go and put everyone else's on their desk and we'll go get ice-cream." Jamie smiled happily and went to everyone's desk place their picture on top.

"Dad this is Richard Castle, Castle my Dad Jim Beckett." Beckett introduced the two men.

"It's nice to finial meet you." Jim said shaking hands with Castle.

"Come on. Ice-cream!" Jamie pulled Beckett's hand. Beckett grabbed her keys and bag then picked up Jamie and held her on her hip.

"See you tomorrow Castle." Beckett said walking out of the bullpen.

"Tomorrow Detective." Castle replied.

"Now I heard you were a big girl this morning." Castle heard Beckett say as she left.

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter. I'll update tomorrow.**

**Please review **

**xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey **

**thanks for the reviews :D Keep them coming please**

**xx**

* * *

Chapter 3

Beckett stood in front of her closet, clenching her teeth she screamed in frustration. She hated him, absolutely hated him right now. Trust him to get tickets for a black tie event when she had nothing to wear. She showed Lanie all of her dresses and Lanie dismissed them all. Jamie sat contently on the bed watching her mother. When there was a knock at the door Beckett got Lanie to answer it since she was only wearing a towel.

Lanie came back to the bedroom carrying a white box. "Who was it?" Beckett asked.

"Delivery." Lanie simply replied.

"For who?"

"Let's find out?" Lanie waved the envelope that was on top of the box. "Bbbidi bobbidi boo!" was what was written on the card.

"Cinderella. It's from him." Beckett informed Lanie

"Oh please it a dress, now open it up girlfriend." Lanie demanded.

"I knew he was arrogant but this is complet….Oh!" Beckett was amazed by how beautiful the dress was as Lanie gasped.

Jamie crawled over to the end of the bed so she could see the dress. "It's pretty."

"Go put it on." Lanie said joining Jamie on the bed. "Do you think mommy will look pretty?" She asked Jamie when Kate left the room.

"Mommy always pretty, that what daddy says." Jamie told her.

Lanie had heard all about Lucas. She had met him only a couple of times when he was at the precinct. She could see why Beckett liked him. He was so good looking the first time Lanie saw him, she got a little weak at the knees. When she looked at Jamie like everyone else they saw Beckett except the nose and ears they were the same as Lucas. Some of them at the precinct had a bet on to see whose personality Jamie would have. At the moment she had a mixture of the two of them but Lanie saw how Jamie became a miniature Beckett every time they saw each other.

"Lanie can you tighten the lance please." Kate said with her back to Lanie. Lanie got off the bed and did what she was asked. "Thank you." Kate straightened the material at the front before turning around.

"You look gorgeous, girl." Lanie told her with a big smile on her face.

"Yeah." Jamie said making Beckett and Lanie laugh slightly.

"What do you think I should do with my hair?" Beckett asked Lanie.

"I'll curl it for you." Lanie told her.

After Lanie had curled her hair, Beckett put on a little bit a makeup. Beckett was staring to get nervous about this whole thing. She couldn't remember the last time she had gone out and looked as nice as she did now. Even though this wasn't a date, she at least knew Castle wasn't going to do a running if Jamie came up in the conversation.

"Be good for Auntie Lanie." She gave Jamie a kiss goodbye/good night. "She's to be in bed by 7 since she has nursery in the morning." Kate told Lanie.

"I know. Just go have a good time with your writer boy." Lanie smirked.

"I'm going and he's not _my_ writer boy." Beckett gave Jamie one more kiss before leaving.

"Ok trouble, what are we going to do?" Lanie asked Jamie.

"Nails!" Jamie exclaimed.

"What colour do you what them to be?" Lanie pulled out a bag full of different nail varnishes and Jamie's face lit up.

Once Lanie had finished paining Jamie's fingers nails each one a different colour, Lanie allowed Jamie to paint her finger nails. The home phone rang and Jamie answered it since the nail varnish on Lanie's nails had dried yet.

"Hello." Jamie said politely.

"Jamie?" A male's voice said down the line.

" Daddy!" Jamie shouted excitedly.

"How are you doing, Princess?"

"Good. Will you be home soon Daddy?" Jamie asked

"14 months."

"That sounds long." Jamie said sadly.

"I know but it will fly by."

"I really miss you, daddy."

"I miss you too and mommy. Are you behaving for mommy?"

"Yes!"

"Can I speak to mommy?"

"She out, Auntie Lanie is looking after me. She looked real pretty in her dress."

"I hope you took a picture of her then. I love your pictures mommy is sending. Are you having fun at nursery?"

"I have lots of fun. I get to….." Jamie started talking about everything that she gets to do. Even though Lacus had heard most of it before, he didn't mind. Just getting to hear her voice was all he cared about.

For him and Beckett it was easier to write to each other since he didn't get to call alot and Beckett could be anywhere when he called. When Jamie was younger, Kate would let Jamie talk to him. Jamie never made any sense but it always brought tears to his eyes knowing he was missing out on his little girl grow. Once he had left the corps he was hoping to get Kate to agree to a sabbatical. He knew it was a long shot but he thought it would be a good idea to see the world just the three of them. He knew it meant Jamie would miss first grade but him and Kate could teach Jamie what she need to know so she wouldn't be that far behind when she went back to school. Getting Kate to stop working for a year would be the hard part. He knew how much Kate loves her job and how she values the work she does for the NYPD. He had a few ideas up his sleeve that was sure to win Kate over. Every night he stared at the photo of Jamie and Kate, which he kept in his left breast pocket of his uniform. That photo was getting him through his last tour knowing at the end he would be going home to his girls.

"Daddy has to go now, Princess." Lucas said after talking to Jamie for the past 20 minutes. "I love you."

"I love you too, daddy." Jamie hung up and went back over to Lanie.

"Did you have a nice talk with your dad?" Lanie asked.

"Yes, I miss him." Jamie cuddled in closer to Lanie.

Jamie started to nod of as she looked at the picture on the coffee table. She really missed her father and was hoping she would finial get to live with her mommy and daddy in the same house once he came home.

* * *

**I hope to update again tomorrow but I'm working so if I don't update tomorrow I'll have an update for you on Monday**

**xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey **

**I'm loving the reviews so please, please, please keep them coming :D I'm going to warn you all that I'm not going to be jumping in Beckett and Castle being together for while so you'll have to keep read :P**

**Enjoy **

**xx**

* * *

Chapter 4

Beckett sat at her desk quickly finishing her report since the Captain said she and the boys could have to the weekend off as long as they didn't get call to another crime scene before they left. Since she had been at the station all night, she got her dad to drop Jamie of at the prescient. Jamie was currently be entertained by Castle and Ryan. Beckett was hoping that she wouldn't get a call since she had worked the past two weekends and wanted to spend so time with Jamie. Finishing her report, she packed up her things and shut down her computer.

"Katie." Beckett knew that voice. She shook her head not wanting to turn around. Turing around Beckett saw two men in military uniform standing at the edge of the bullpen. The one she knew had a sling around his right arm.

"Jackson!" Jamie shouted. She was about to skip up to him but Beckett turned in her direction and shook her head to Ryan.

"Come on. Let's let mommy and Jackson to talk in private." Esposito picked her up and took her into the observation room along with Castle and Ryan.

"He was on the helicopter that was hit, wasn't he." Beckett tried to hold back the tears.

"Katie, I'm so sorry." Beckett collapsed into her chair as Jackson moved towards her. "He loved you and Jamie-Leigh so much. You kept him going every day." Beckett couldn't hold the tear back any longer. Jackson knelt down in front of her and hugged her tightly as she cried.

In the observation room, the boys tried to keep her occupied but weren't having much luck.

"I want Mommy!" Jamie screamed at the top of her lungs.

Esposito knew why those men where there, Ryan and Castle had an idea about what was happening but didn't want to voice it. Jamie dropped to the ground crying. She didn't understand what was happening, why she couldn't see her mom and why her mom looked so sad. The boys came closer to her so no one was manning the doors. Jamie took this opportunity and crawled quickly toward the door that led to the bullpen. Ryan had managed to grab her but only once she was out the door. As he picked her up, she began kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs for Beckett. Beckett stood up so Ryan let Jamie go. Running over to her mom, Jamie wrapped her arms and legs tightly around her mom. Jamie's defibrillator had shocked her heart a couple of times but Jamie had so much adrenaline running through her she didn't feel it. Beckett held to Jamie just as tightly as Jamie was to her. Beckett rocked Jamie back and forth trying to calm her but since she was crying it didn't help. Sinking to the floor Beckett lent against Ryan's deck. She repositioned Jamie so she was now cradling the little girl like a baby. No one knew what to do except to stand and watch. The scene in front of them broke their hearts.

Jamie started to hiccup as she stopped crying. Beckett didn't know what else to do except to rock her like a baby and hope that Jamie might fall asleep to give her time think about how she is going to explain everything to a four year old. Beckett sat listening to Jamie's breathing even out. Looking down she watched the little girl sleeping in her arms. Beckett traced her finger down Jamie's cheek, wiping away any stray tears. Jamie had fallen asleep with one of her hands placed over her mother heart just like she did when she was a baby. Beckett placed one of her hands on top Jamie's as she felt her heart continue to break into little pieces.

"Beckett." Esposito bent down beside her. "Do you want me to take you home?"

Beckett nodded, "But I need to go somewhere first."

"Do you want me to take Jamie?" Beckett passed Jamie to him. The three of them left the precinct without another word.

***Castle***

Beckett sat in the passenger seat of her car. Esposito sat quietly beside her and Jamie was still asleep in the backseat. They were parked in front of the cemetery where Beckett's mother was resting. Beckett had explained to Jamie that her grandmother was in heaven watching over them. Beckett wasn't sure Jamie had understood what that meant and since Jamie was four she wasn't sure if she would understand that daddy wasn't coming home.

"Can you stay here please? I need to do this alone." Esposito nodded in agreement.

Beckett stepped out of the car and opened Jamie's door. "Jamie, Jamie wake up, Princess."

As Jamie woke, she balled her hands into a fist and rubbed her eyes. Beckett lifted her out of the car and placed her on the ground. Taking Jamie's hand Beckett led them into the cemetery. They walked in silence to Johanna Beckett's head stone.

"Why we seeing grandma?" Jamie asked.

Beckett knelt down so she could speak eye level with Jamie. "Do you remember where I said grandma is?"

"She in heaven." Jamie answered.

"I have to tell you something. I know that you might not understand but I need to try. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Jamie answered waywardly.

"You know daddy goes away and he flies helicopters," Jamie nodded indicating she understood, "There was an accident and daddy go hurt. He got really hurt." Beckett took Jamie's hands in her. "Daddy….Daddy isn't coming home, Princes. He's up in heaven with grandma now."

"Daddy promised he come home." Jamie started crying.

"I know he did but he loved you so much. You meant the world to him. I know he's up in heaven looking down on you, protecting you. If you ever want to know anything about daddy, all you need to do is ask."

Jamie wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, "I really wanted daddy to come home."

"So did I, Princess. So did I." Beckett whispered.

***Castle***

Jamie sat watching the tv whilst Beckett opened her mail. Jamie hadn't said much since they had left the cemetery and Beckett didn't want to push Jamie to talk. Beckett came across a letter which caused her heart to stop when she recognised the handwriting. She sat wishing this letter had come the day before. She traced her fingers along the seal of the envelope. Staring at the writing on the front she held her breath before tearing the envelope open. She felt the tears roll down her cheek as she began to read the letter,

_Dear Katie,_

_Thank you again for your letters. They always make me smile. Will you thank Jamie for the pictures she drew me, I love them. I love the pictures you sent me of her; I can't believe how fast she is growing up and she looks more and more like you every day. I need to tell you some important things but I just don't know how. _

_Yesterday my helicopter was almost hit by a missile. Over the past couple of days more IEDs and missiles have been going off. My gut tells me that something bad is going to happen so I'm writing this letter to tell you things I need you to know just in case something happens to me and I can't tell you myself. First of all, you're a great mom and you should never doubt that. I know you sometimes think you're not because you work so much but when Jamie is with me, all she talks about is what you do together and how much she loves you. Second if I am gone I want you to promise you'll find someone; someone who will love you, who will take care of you and who can be a father to Jamie. And last, don't regret the three of us not being a family because I understand why you wanted to wait until I left the corps. If I'm gone just know that I'll be looking over you and Jamie with your mom. I love you both so much, I always have and always will until the day I die. Give Jamie a kiss from me,_

_Lucas _

_Xx_

* * *

**Another chapter done, if I pull my finger out and write the next chapter I might have it up in the next couple of hours :D **

**Please review **

**xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey **

**Thanks to everyone who writes a review.**

**xx**

* * *

Chapter 5

A calm breeze blow through Arlington National Cemetery, Beckett and Jamie stood in front of the newly dug grave. Jamie didn't understand everything, she knew that her father was up in heaven but didn't understand how he could also be in the coffin. Beckett had been undecided over the past week if taking Jamie to Lucas's funeral was a good idea. She knew Jamie didn't understand everything and was trying to answer all of Jamie's questions without causing Jamie to get even more confused.

"Kate." Turning around Beckett saw Lucas's mother- Marie- standing twenty feet away, "Would you like me to take Jamie so you can have a few moments?"

"Umm….Yeah. Jamie can you say goodbye to daddy then go with Grandma, please."

Jamie nodded, "Bye Daddy." Jamie took her grandmother's hand as they walked back up to the entrance of the cemetery.

"I got your letter." Kate said quietly, "I regret us not being able to be a family. I thought if we just stayed friends then I would be able to handle your death better than if I was your wife. I couldn't lose another big person in my life. I want to know that Jamie will always know about you and how you died a hero. I don't think I ever told you this but you were a great father. I'm going to miss you and you'll always have a place in my heart." Kate wiped away her tear before leaving the grave side.

Kate walked slowly through the cemetery passing row upon row of fall heroes. '13 and a half months' Kate kept thinking to herself. That was all he had left until he came home. When Kate got to the entrance to the cemetery she noticed Marie talking with some family members whilst Jamie stood beside Jackson and some of Lucas's other marine friends. She smiled politely as she walked passed Marie to Jamie. For a while Kate and Jamie listened to different stories of Lucas from his friends. Everyone was heading back to Marie's house for the wake however Kate took Jamie for a little walk so they could talk.

"Are you ok, baby?" Kate asked.

"Yes." Jamie simple answered.

"Do you want to ask me anything?" Jamie just shrugged her shoulders but Kate saw that she was crying. Kate bent down to Jamie's height so she could speak eye level with her. "Hey, if you're ok then why are you crying?" Kate wiped away the falling tears.

"I want daddy." Jamie wrapped her arms around Kate's neck and continued to cry.

Kate picked her up and held her close, "Do you want to go back to the hotel and take a nap. When you wake up we'll go to Grandma's. How does that sound?" Jamie just nodded and nestled her head in the crook of Kate's neck.

They got a taxi back to the hotel. Kate sat watching Jamie sleep for a while before turning her laptop on. She sat looking at old pictures. Some she couldn't remember being taken. She smiled at photos where she remembered what was happening when the picture was taken. She found a picture of Lucas and Jamie sleeping. She could remember taking that photo. Lucas had gotten home from another tour and Jamie was two years old. She came home from work to find them sleeping on the sofa. Jamie was lying to top of Lucas's chest, it was one of the sweetest thing she had ever seen.

***Castle***

Kate moved around Marie's kitchen, picking up plates and glasses and putting them in the dish washer. Marie was saying good bye to Jackson and Jamie was in the back garden. Kate heard the front door close. Marie walked the long way through to the kitchen, it meant when she walked through the dining-room she could check on Jamie.

"You don't have to do that Kate." Marie said when she walked onto the kitchen and saw Kate cleaning.

"I know. I just need to do something." Kate gave her a weak smile.

"I understand. How have you and Jamie been?" Marie asked.

"I'm ok, I guess. Jamie though, I don't know. She's been clingy and really quite." Kate sighed.

"I take it she's sleeping in your bed again."

"Yeah." Kate sighed again, "She hardly walks, insists on being carried around. She's also refusing to go to sleep without a dummy. I feel like we're going backwards." Kate ran fingers through her hair.

"What if Jamie stays here?"

"What? Do you mean a week, a month, permanently?" Kate could get head round what she was asking.

"Permanently, I know you're probably screaming no inside but just listen. Jamie can have a more stable life here, I know you do your best but Jamie is passed around depending on your work."

"Yes, Jamie sometimes gets passed around but she's never been put in danger and she's always with someone she knows."

"I know but just thing about it. Think about how when Jamie gets her heart transplant, she'll be able to run around the back garden whenever she wants."

"I can't….Jamie is…." Kate started to pace back and forth.

"Please say you'll think about out. I understand that it would be hard but you could come and visit whenever you want and call every day. Just think about it." Marie explained.

"Ok, I'll think about it."

Kate and Marie didn't know that someone was eves dropping on their conversation. Jamie stood at the side of the entrance to the kitchen. She had heard most of their conversation and she understood what they were talking about. She likes how she would get to spend some nights with her mom and then the others between her grandfather, the boys and Auntie Lanie. Jamie moved quietly back outside so not to let them know she had heard them.

* * *

**Please review**

**xx**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Beckett thanked Castle for the cup of coffee. She was so tired. Not only was Jamie sleeping in her bed, Jamie hadn't said a word since the day of Lucas's funeral. All she got was a nod or shake of the head or a shrug of the shoulders. If she asked Jamie something that need more than a yes, no or maybe, Jamie would just stare at her not uttering a word.

"Do you want to talk?" Castle had noticed the dark circles around her eyes.

"No….I don't know maybe after we close this case." Beckett signed in exhaustion.

"Well I'm here you're ready." Castle smiled at her.

"Castle did…." She was interrupted but her phone, "Beckett…Yes….She did what?!...I'm on my way." Beckett grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair and headed for the elevator.

"Beckett!" Castle called.

"I'll be back in 30 minutes." The elevator doors closed.

"Where did Beckett go?" Ryan asked when he came back into the bullpen with Esposito.

"Dunno. She got a call then left." Castle told them. Esposito and Ryan looked at each other but shock it off. They sat back at their desks and got back to work.

***Castle***

Just like she said Beckett was back at the prescient thirty minutes after she had left. However she wasn't alone, Jamie was with her. Beckett looked furious and Jamie kept her down as they walked into the conference room. Beckett sat Jamie on the chair that was furthest from the door.

"You stay here. Do not move from this chair and do not talk to anyone if you do you're going to be in even more trouble." Beckett warned Jamie.

"What happened?" Ryan asked when Kate left the conference room.

"She bit another child and she won't say why. In fact she hasn't spoken a word in over a week." Beckett slumped in her chair.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Esposito said.

"I thought it was her way of coping with Lucas's death. You three aren't a lot to talk to her; my dad said he would be here ASAP to take her." She told them. All of them nodded, not wanting to make Beckett anymore mad than she was.

"Our suspect is in integration, if you want Ryan and I can handle it." Esposito told her.

"No, I'll do the integration. Espo with me, Ryan you keep trying to find the husband and Castle can you make sure Jamie doesn't leave that room."

Beckett and Esposito headed to integration, Ryan went back to his desk and Castle stayed in his chair and watched Jamie. He could tell Jamie was planning something since she had watched Beckett head to integration and watched Ryan sit at his desk. She had the same face that Alexis used to have when she was thinking of a place to hide when it was bath time.

Jamie watched Castle move through to the break room to make some coffee. Ryan had his back to her so she quickly made her was to the door. Opening the door, she looked around the bullpen making sure no one was watching her. The coast was clear so she quickly made her way to the stairs. On the next floor and passed a few doors before opening one. The door she opened led to the gym, at that time of the day it was empty. Moving into the gym she turned towards a table that sat in the corner and crawled under it. She let her back against the wall, hugged her legs against her chest and rested her head on her knees. The room went quite for a couple of seconds before Jamie heard the door open. She stayed as quiet as she could so not to alert the person she was under the table. Jamie couldn't see who had entered the gym but their shoes. She hugged her legs tighter and the person movement towards the table. They had stop and sat down on the floor in front of the table. It was Castle.

They sat in silence staring at each other. "Do you want to talk?" Castle broke the silence.

Jamie didn't say anything; she just crawled out from under the table and sat on Castle's lap. Jamie took Castle's hand and began to draw patterns on his palm.

"My daughter Alexis, she used to draw patterns on my hand too. She even sometimes let me draw patterns on her hand. Can I draw patterns on your hand?" Jamie gave him her other hand, she giggled when Castle started the first pattern.

"I don't want to go." Jamie opened up to him.

"Go where?" Castle asked.

"Grandma's." Jamie had a sad tone to her voice.

"Your mom said your Grandpa was picking you up."

"No. Mommy and Grandma talked about me staying with Grandma." Jamie told him.

"When did you here that?"

"After we said goodbye to daddy, they did not know I listening."

"Is that why you're not talking?" Jamie nodded, "You should talk to your mom. I doubt that your mom would send you to your Grandma's if you don't want to go."

"But now she mad at me."

"She's only mad because you bit someone and won't tell her why. Can you tell me why you bit that person?"

"She said daddy die cause he don't love me." A few tears dropped onto Castle's arm.

Castle wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, "I didn't know your daddy but I know he loved you very much. He died in a helicopter accident just like mommy told you."

"How you know daddy love me." She looked up at him.

"Mommy's and Daddy's love their children no matter what for the second they know your growing in your mommy's tummy."

"Ok" Jamie didn't sound completely convinced but it was good enough for Castle.

"Do you want to head back down?"

"No, Mommy will be real mad."

"I think if you said you were sorry and gave her a hug so won't be that mad at you."

"OK." Jamie stood up then waited for Castle to stand. She held up her arms to pick her up.

"Come on then." Castle picked her up and carried her of his hip.

***Castle***

Beckett came rushing towards them when they reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh thank God!" She took Jamie from Castle and held her close, "Where have you been?" She asked Castle.

"The gym, we had a talk." Castle informed her.

"I'm sorry mommy. I won't be naughty again, please don't send me to Grandma's please." Jamie tightened her arms around Beckett's neck.

"What are you talking about?" Beckett hoped Jamie hadn't heard their conversation.

"I heard you and Grandma talking, I don't wanna go."

"I promise you, you're not going anywhere. We're in this together." Beckett gave her a kiss on the side of her head. She was going to keep her promise not matter what. Jamie meant everything to her and wasn't going to lose her.

* * *

**Please review**

**xx**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Thanks for doing this Castle." Beckett said as she entered Castle's apartment with Jamie.

She needed to go to court and needed someone to watch Jamie. Normally her dad would watch her but he was out of town. Castle had offered and she couldn't say no because Jamie was with them at the time and pleaded with her big puppy dogs eyes to stay with Castle.

"Here's her bag, I have no idea what's inside Jamie packed it. Jamie, be good for Castle and Castle please don't give her too much sugar. I should be back between 5 and 6 tonight; I'll call if something comes up. I'm not forgetting anything?" Beckett rambled on.

"Beckett, Jamie will be fine. I have a daughter myself remember." Castle told her.

"Ok, come here Jamie." She gave Jamie kiss and cuddle, "Thanks again Castle." She said before leaving the apartment.

"Mommy worries too much." Jamie stated as Castle led her to the kitchen.

"Richard, who was at…." Martha said descending the stairs however stop when she saw Jamie sitting at the breakfast bar. "Who is this little one?" She asked.

"Mother is this Jamie-Leigh, Beckett's daughter. Jamie this is my mother." Castle introduced them.

"Hello." Jamie said polity smiling.

"Hello now I would love to stay and chat but I have a class to get to." Martha waved bye as she left.

"Did you have breakfast?" Castle asked Jamie.

"Nope." She grinned at him

"All right then. Chocolate chip pan cakes coming up, do you want to help me?"

Jamie nodded excitedly. Castle got a chair from the dining table for Jamie to stand on. Castle added the ingredients for the mix into a mixing bowl and Jamie mixed the ingredients together. Castle noticed that Jamie would stick her tongue out slightly when she was concentrating mixing the ingredients. Castle had to admit it was completely adorable.

"How big will we make them?" Castle asked.

"Real big."

"Ok, big chocolate pancakes coming up. Go around and sit on one of the stools, please."

"Ok" Jamie hopped off the chair and went around to the middle stool, "I can't get up, Castle." She giggled as she tried to sit on the stool properly.

Castle went round to help her up, she lying across the stool kicking her legs in the air. "There you go, Tiny." Castle sat her on the stool the right way up and ruffled her hair.

Castle was serving the pancakes to Jamie when Alexis came down the stairs, "I thought you already left for school." Castle could have sworn he saw Alexis leave.

"No, teacher training this morning. Hi I'm Alexis." She took a seat next to Jamie.

"Jamie-Leigh."

"Beckett's daughter." Castle informed Alexis, he handed her a plate of pancakes. Alexis took a good look at Jamie and could instantly see the resemblance.

***Castle***

For the rest of the morning Jamie and Castle played various games on the wii. Alexis had joined them for a little while before having to get ready for school. Alexis and Jamie got on really well since they started to gang up on Castle on a couple of games. Jamie was a bit sad to see Alexis go to school however Alexis promised Jamie that if she was still at the apartment when she got back home from school she would spend some time with them. Castle realised that apart from the children at nursery, Alexis was the only other person who was closest to Jamie's age. If he had to be honest with himself, Jamie a grown on him and him along with everyone else was wrapped around her little finger.

In the afternoon, Jamie and Castle made a tent on the living room which Jamie was claiming as her castle. She had even worn a tiara that she had packed in her bag. Playtime had to stop for a few moments when Castle's phone rang.

"Beckett has court already adjourned?" Castle answered the phone.

"No, our suspect's lawyer got the evidence thrown out of court. The judge has given us till 10 am tomorrow to find more evidence or break his shaky alibi. At the moment I don't know when I'll be able to pick Jamie up but I'm hoping it won't be to….Argh!"

"Beckett, Jamie can stay here tonight. Just bring her over clothes for tomorrow and pj's it no problem." Castle told her.

"Thanks Castle but that's not the only problem. Jamie has a cheek up with her cardiologist tomorrow and I've not taken the stand so I can't leave."

"I'll take her and before you say that I can't, I can. "

"Fine." Beckett huffed seeing no other option. "I'll be around in an hour."

"See you then."

"Bye." Beckett ran her hand through her hand.

Castle crawled back into the makeshift castle, "Your mom has to work tonight so you're going to be staying here. Is that ok?"

"Yeah, can we sleep in the castle?" She asked nicely.

"Sure, we'll hunt the sleeping bags out later." It had been a while since Castle had camped out in the living room.

"Will Alexis sleep in the castle too?"

"Maybe you could ask her when she gets home."

***Castle***

"Tiny, your mom is here?" Castle led Beckett into the apartment. Beckett tried on to laugh at him since he was wearing a paper crown which had be coloured in by Jamie.

"Tiny?" Beckett asked.

"Jamie tried to sit on one of the bar stools but couldn't get up so I've nicknamed her Tiny. She seems to like it." Castle smiled at Beckett.

"Castle said you gotta work tonight." Jamie said as she crawled out from under the castle.

"I am. I'm just dropping of some clothes for you." Beckett picked up Jamie and gave her a hug. "Have been having fun with Castle?"

"Yeah we make a castle." Jamie pointed to the pretend castle.

"Is Castle the king since he's wearing a crown?" Beckett asked.

"Yeah."

"And are you the queen?"

"No." Jamie shook her head, "I princess, silly mommy." All three of them laughed at Jamie's comment.

"So who's the queen of the castle?"

"You. You always queen." Jamie smiled at her mom.

"Thank you, baby." Beckett gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Tonight you're going to stay with Castle then tomorrow he's going to take you to your cheek up and I'll pick you up tomorrow night, is that ok?"

"That ok. Castle said we can sleep in the castle."

"That sound fun, you'll have to tell me all about it tomorrow. You don't you go and play whist I talk to Castle. I love you."

"I love you too, mommy." Beckett put Jamie back on the ground and she scurried off to the castle.

Becket turned to Castle, who was smiling at her, "What are you smiling at?"

"It's nice to the different side you. I thought I had it bad with bring up Alexis by myself but then I see you with Jamie and juggling work it amazes me."

"Thanks." She said shyly, "You done well with Alexis even if you're like a nine year old on a sugar rush most of the time." She smiled at him.

"Well thank you Beckett." That's when he felt it. This sudden warm in his heart, he had felt something similar with Meredith and Gina in the beginning. Even from the first time they meet, she was beautiful to him. Her strength, courage, tenacity, perseverance for justice was why he chose her to be his muse for his next novel and was why he was falling for her. "Is everything in her bag?"

"Yeah and this is the time of her cheek up." Beckett passed him a piece of paper with tomorrows date, the hospital and Jamie's doctor's name written on it. "I owe you one Castle."

"No you don't, you let me follow you around so I can do research. Plus Jamie's a good kid and I would be happy to babysit for you at any time." He meant every word.

***Castle***

Castle, Alexis and Jamie all sat on the sofa in their pjs. They had to take the castle down so they could watch the movie but Castle said they could still sleep in the living room. Alexis was more than happy to join them. Alexis always wanted a younger sibling and since her dad was working with Beckett, she guested this wouldn't be the only time Jamie would stay or come over. Even if her dad stopped working with Beckett she was more than happy to babysit. During the film Alexis got a bit cold so Jamie shared her blanket with her. Alexis end up sitting Jamie in her lap. When the film ended it wasn't that late, well not for Jamie. Castle looked across the sofa and saw the two girls sleeping. Castle took a picture, reminding himself to show Beckett. Castle lifted Jamie carefully not to wake either of them and laid her down on the other side of the sofa. Tucking them under a blanket each, he gave them each a kiss on the forehead. Since they were both peacefully sleeping, Castle went through to his office and wrote some more of his book.

***Castle***

Castle took Jamie's hand as they got out of the taxi that took them to the hospital. Jamie led Castle over to the reception. The receptionist kindly asked them to take a seat in the waiting room as she let the doctor know they had arrived. They hadn't even sat down when nurse came over to them.

"Hi Jamie are you ready for your cheek up?" The nurse said.

"Yeah. This Castle, he here cause mommy had to work."

"Laura." She shook hands with Castle.

Laura led them to an exam room where she attached Jamie to an EKG machine. Castle noticed the scare that ran down Jamie's front. He remembers Beckett telling him Jamie had been born 15 weeks premature so he wasn't surprised to realise that Jamie probable had one or more surgeries to save her life.

"What happens now?" Castle asked taking a seat in the chair next to the hospital bed.

"Jamie will be hocked up to the EKG for about 30 minutes then Dr Robertson will come in and cheek to see if her levels need to be changed." Laura explained.

"Levels?"

"The heart rate where the defibrillator will shock the heart."

Castle had been sitting watching Jamie draw for the past 5 minutes. "What are you drawing?"

"That is a castle, that me, Alexis, you and mommy." She point to each object on the paper. Castle could help but smile, he like the sound of what Jamie said.

"It's very pretty."

"Thank you." Jamie smiled back at him.

***Castle***

Castle tip toed over to the front door. He pressed a finger against his lips as he opened the door for Beckett. Castle closed the door behind Beckett and let her over to the sofa. Jamie was sleep on the sofa. She looked adorable in one of Castle's t-shirts.

"We were painting and Jamie managed to get her clothes covered in paint. I told Jamie to change her top forgetting she had paint on her hands. In fact her clothes have just finished in the dryer," Castle whispered to Beckett.

"You didn't have to wash her clothes but thanks. How did her cheek up go?" They moved in to the kitchen so not to wake Jamie.

"Good, he didn't need to change anything since her heart isn't beating any slower than in the last cheek up. He wants you to book an appointment for 6 months time. I know Jamie is on the transplant list, once she gets her new heart how many operations will she have had?"

"7, she had 6 before she was 3 months old." Beckett gave him a weak smile. "I should be heading home." Beckett walked over to Jamie.

Beckett held the sleeping girl on her hip. Castle handed her Jamie's bag. "Oh, almost forgot." Castle ran back to the kitchen and picked up paper off the counter top and went back over to Beckett. He handed her a pile of picture that Jamie had done. She looked down at the top picture, she couldn't help but smile. She felt all warm inside knowing Jamie got alone with Castle.

* * *

**So what do you think?**

**xx**


End file.
